Have you been in this mood on stage?
I know I have. I’ve had a few gigs that were so rough I really had to contemplate my life choices. It’s not the best emotional space to be in and not the place music is meant to take us.
From working with terrible band leaders who were shady when it came time to pay everyone to tolerating poor treatment from booking agencies who would ask me to hold dates that they never confirmed. I’ve put up with my share of nonsense.
It wasn’t a very strong place for me to lead my life from. For some reason I thought this poor treatment was supposed to come with the territory.
I remember a time in particular I was complaining to a friend of mine about all of this and his question to me was, “Well, what do YOU want?” It hadn’t occurred to me that what I want was important. Or that I could simply stop engaging with these unprofessional people.
It was a light bulb moment to realize I didn’t have to show up for any of that. I didn’t have to participate.
I wasn’t valuing myself as a talented singer much less as a human being. And if I wasn’t doing it, I certainly wasn’t going to be able to ask anyone else to do it. Someone else once told me, “You teach people how to treat you.” This was definitely starting to hit home.
It was then I had to make the very deliberate choice that I would no longer work with those particular band leaders or agencies. I realized I actually didn’t have to put up with nonsense just to work.
When our approach to work is intentional we attract more gratifying experiences into our lives. I firmly believe that.
In our conversation this week on the Working Singer Podcast, April and I discuss what it takes to be an effective band leader, when to refer someone else for a gig you know you’re all wrong for and what it takes to operate like a true professional.
This is a conversation I wish I had right out of college! It would have saved me a ton of confusion. Then again, those situations showed me things about myself that I needed to see.
I know I have. I’ve had a few gigs that were so rough I really had to contemplate my life choices. It’s not the best emotional space to be in and not the place music is meant to take us.
From working with terrible band leaders who were shady when it came time to pay everyone to tolerating poor treatment from booking agencies who would ask me to hold dates that they never confirmed. I’ve put up with my share of nonsense.
It wasn’t a very strong place for me to lead my life from. For some reason I thought this poor treatment was supposed to come with the territory.
I remember a time in particular I was complaining to a friend of mine about all of this and his question to me was, “Well, what do YOU want?” It hadn’t occurred to me that what I want was important. Or that I could simply stop engaging with these unprofessional people.
It was a light bulb moment to realize I didn’t have to show up for any of that. I didn’t have to participate.
I wasn’t valuing myself as a talented singer much less as a human being. And if I wasn’t doing it, I certainly wasn’t going to be able to ask anyone else to do it. Someone else once told me, “You teach people how to treat you.” This was definitely starting to hit home.
It was then I had to make the very deliberate choice that I would no longer work with those particular band leaders or agencies. I realized I actually didn’t have to put up with nonsense just to work.
When our approach to work is intentional we attract more gratifying experiences into our lives. I firmly believe that.
In our conversation this week on the Working Singer Podcast, April and I discuss what it takes to be an effective band leader, when to refer someone else for a gig you know you’re all wrong for and what it takes to operate like a true professional.
This is a conversation I wish I had right out of college! It would have saved me a ton of confusion. Then again, those situations showed me things about myself that I needed to see.
Listen to our conversation on the Working Singer Podcast at https://apple.co/2BxTI4s