I’d been thinking over the past few weeks about what can derail the career of a young singer.
What are the things that need to happen in a career? What are things that have no place in that development? What should singing involve or what shouldn’t it involve? What lies do toxic individuals tell us about having a singing career that we believe because we don’t know any better?
Here’s some of what singing is - working on your craft, listening to and absorbing the voices of other singers you admire, working with a voice teacher, going to open mics, booking your own gigs, joining a choir, going to your local community college or university to study voice more in depth, finding a mentor at said school to show you the ropes, having coffee with fellow singers to talk shop, deciphering harmonies for your backup singing gig, arranging your lyrics in an app, putting together your set list, finding a cohesive theme for your solo show, hiring musicians for your gig and rehearsing with said musicians, learning how to record yourself at home, session singing, memorizing songs, realizing that understanding the story behind the lyrics will help you memorize them better, learning how to tell a story, practicing with a karaoke on YouTube or iTunes or Spotify to get that song into your body, singing scales, hydrating and getting more sleep (!), writing your own songs, vocal rest, taking it all a step further and learning to produce your own music, going to a performance workshop to further hone your skills, teaching someone else to sing, making a demo to highlight your strengths - are just some of the things that can create your foundation as a singer.
Positive things that lead to more fun possibilities.
Things that teach you so much about yourself and helps you build confidence in your art.
What a singing career is NOT is a toxic moron inserting themselves into your life and exploiting the fact that you want to be a singer. If someone is telling you that “dating” them or doing things that make you feel uncomfortable is all part and parcel of having a career as a singer they are lying to you. They are insulting your intelligence. This person is a narcissist. This personis a predator. This person doesn’t care about your well being, let alone your future. You are being manipulated. If you are in this situation, please know that you are strong enough to pull yourself out of it. If you need help you can tell someone in your life or DM me. I would love to help.
Please know that these things are not a part of craft, performance, coaching, theory, pedagogy or anything else that goes into becoming an amazing singer.
These things are embarrassing and humiliating. We feel stupid we “let” them happen and we bottle them up and never speak of them.
I've been lucky enough to not travel down a road quite as dark as some singers I’ve heard stories from lately. I empathize, because wanting to be a singer is such a pure dream. However, often times being the only woman in the green room or in the studio I’ve had some grossly unprofessional things said and proposed to me. I get it.
But know you are worth more. You do not deserve to be taken advantage of or manipulated. No one has any right to treat you disrespectfully. Trust me when I say that sleaze bag doesn’t have the power over you he or she wants you to think they have. It’s all a part of their game.
Know that singing should be attached to fun. It should be attached to personal growth. It should be attached to healthy community. You are loved and supported. You deserve respect.